Loki (orionsroad) wrote,

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Bitch, please. (oneshot)

Title: Bitch, please (AKA, the sexy adventures of super secretary Jaejoong!)
Author: orionsroad
Rating: Uhhh PG13.
Form: Oneshot
Pairings: Yunjae, some sort of Yungi.
Genre: crack, drama?
Summary: Just a day in the life of secretary!Jae at the office with his boss, Mr Jung.

AN:For shienri and lavhire and everyone else that enjoyed my 'Bitch please' Jae icon. :D:D:D

If you click on the link in the fic, you'll see an image of the item in question. ^_^

“No, I’m sorry, he’s in a meeting right now… No, I can’t connect you Ma’am… Really m’am – he’s talking to a very important business partner right now and ca-… No, I cannot! Look lady, just hang up, okay. He’ll call you if he calls you.” With that, the little red light next to the sign for ‘Line 3’ went dark, much to Jaejoong’s satisfaction. God people were morons.

“Very professional Joongie.” An amused voice said, and Jaejoong looked up from his desk to see Park Yoochun hanging over the little counter overhead of him. Jae huffed and made a tisking sound.

“Of course. It’s the only way to deal with these people.” He replied stiffly, and the other man laughed. Jaejoong looked up at him from over the rim of his serious black glasses and raised an eyebrow. “What do you want, Yoochun, or are you here just to bother me?” He asked, looking quite convinced that Yoochun was there to bother the hell out of him. True to form, the man clutched his chest over dramatically.

“Oh, you wound me! So cold and aloof!” Yoochun said, before leaning further over, until Jaejoong was almost afraid he’d topple over the edge and land on Jaejoong. “I might have come simply for the pleasure of your good company, and to bask in your magnificence!” He went on with a cocky smile. Jaejoong rolled his eyes.

“Go away Yoochun.” He directed calmly, dismissing the other man as he turned back to his computer, pulling up the day’s schedule.

“Can’t babe, sorry. Need to speak to Yunho.” Yoochun said, bringing his attention back up to the man. Well, at least that was a halfway decent answer. Didn’t make the guy any more sufferable, however.

“Can’t. He’s in a meeting. Conference call.” Jaejoong said shortly. Yoochun frowned.

“For real? You weren’t just blowing that lady off?” He asked curiously, and Jaejoong made a noise of exasperation.

“I don’t lie to everyone Yoochun.” He defended. “Come back tomorrow. He’s fully booked for the day.” Yoochun pouted.

“Oh come on Jae… you can’t squeeze me in there? I know how good you are at doing that. Just for me?” The flirt fairly leered at Jaejoong, who laughed a little at his ridiculousness.

“Not even for you.” Jae returned calmly with an overly sweet smile. Dropping the act, he leaned an elbow on his desk and rested his chin in his hand. “What’s it about, Chun?”

“… I just need to talk to him about one of the project groups.” Yoochun said, somewhat evasively. Jae raised a skeptical brow.

“Kids aren’t playing nice?” He questioned, and Yoochun made a face that Jae took to mean his guess was right. Sighing, he brought up the next few days’ schedules and began clicking around.

“Okay, look, tomorrow he has a little spare time before lunch. Come in about 12, okay?” He said, tapping it into the computer as he spoke. Yoochun beamed at him.

“Ah, fabulous. See, I knew I could count on you babe!” He enthused, and Jaejoong rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to retort. He was cut off by a low buzz and Yunho’s voice coming from his phone however.

“Jae, could you come in here please? Yoochun, stop flirting and go back to work.” Yunho’s slightly tinny voice said. Jaejoong pressed the return button.

“Be right in.” He replied, and then stood up. “Go on Chun, you heard the man.” He told the young man who was still standing there, looking rather shocked.

“How did he know I was here?!” Yoochun exclaimed, looking at the closed doors of Yunho’s office and then back to Jaejoong. Jae shrugged, and then made wiggling motions with his fingers towards Yoochun.

“He’s got eyes everywhere!” He joked, before turning and heading towards the office, leaving Yoochun behind.

The inside of Yunho’s office looked just like a big-shot executive’s office should. It was ostentatious, had a lot of very expensive, high quality stuff in it, and was very large. Everything in the office was large. Big chairs, large windows, and a large desk, at which Yunho was now sitting. Jaejoong smirked a little. He liked that desk.

“You called?” He queried, walking further into the room after closing the door. Yunho smiled at him, and beckoned him forward with one hand.

Jaejoong went, coming around the large solid desk to stand next to Yunho, who just looked up at him for a few moments. Then, he reached forward and tugged Jae down and forwards, tumbling him into his lap. With a surprised ‘oof’, Jaejoong found himself squarely sitting sideways on Yunho in his large comfy leather seat, with Yunho’s nose buried in his neck.

“I did.” Yunho murmured against Jae’s skin, kissing it wetly. “I’m getting a headache.” He went on, kissing up his neck until he reached Jae’s earlobe, which he began to nibble on. Jaejoong frowned, and put a hand up against Yunho’s forehead and trying to smooth out the slight gathering of lines he felt there with his thumb.

“Do you want some aspirin?” He asked, but Yunho shook his head.
“No.” He sounded petulant. “Just you. Now hush.” And with that, Yunho turned his head and kissed him. Smiling against the lips pressed to his, Jae opened his mouth and deepened the kiss.

They kissed leisurely for a while, Jae’s hands pressing against Yunho’s chest as Yunho’s own snuck under his jacket and rubbed along the line of his waist and hip.

“See, I’m feeling better already.” Yunho murmured into Jae’s mouth, and Jae pulled back a little to laugh. Yunho smiled at how beautiful Jaejoong looked like that, and he couldn’t help but peck another kiss on the side of Jae’s face. “Mmm. I have something for you.” He said, tightening his grip on Jae’s waist with one hand so that he wouldn’t fall off as Yunho shifted in the chair. Jaejoong wrapped an arm around Yunho’s neck for extra balance as the chair rolled to the left a little, Jae watching curiously as Yunho pulled open a drawer and brought out a simple black box about the size of a coffee mug.

Jae blinked at it as it came closer, Yunho bringing it over to present it to him.

“Here.” He said simply, not even looking at it, but smiling hopefully at Jaejoong. Puzzled, Jae took the offered box with both hands, using one to work the snug lid off. There was a black piece of cardboard, and, underneath that… a watch. A really really gorgeous watch, with dark letters spelling out ‘Cartier’ across the face, between the roman numerals.

“Yunho…” He gasped, eyes flying up to Yunho’s, who were still fixed on Jae’s face.

“Do you like it? I wasn’t sure if you’d prefer the plain steel or the one with the gold bits, but I can exchange it if you want, it’s not –” Yunho rambled off, trying to figure out what the silence meant.

Jaejoong shook his head wildly though.
“Yunho, no… it’s gorgeous. Really really gorgeous. And I love it, but you can’t give me stuff like this. I thought we talked about it after – ” He said, touching the watch gently with one finger. Yunho cut him off, placing a hand over the one in the box.

“I wanted to. I just… I just wanted to.” Was all he said, his hand worming under Jae’s to pull out the watch, and to awkwardly unfasten it with his arm still around Jae’s waist. “I can’t get a refund for it anyway, so you have to take it.” Yunho went on, not looking at Jae’s eyes as he wrapped the watch around Jaejoong’s wrist.

“Yunho…” Jaejoong said quietly, pulling his hands from Yunho’s and wrapping them around the larger hand. “Yunho, it’s gorgeous.” He repeated, and leant down to nuzzle at Yunho’s face until he turned his face upward enough to catch a heartfelt kiss. “Thank you.” He said softly after, resting his head against Yunho’s shoulder and looking down at the flawless gleaming watch on his wrist. Yunho relaxed a bit more, closing his eyes and turning his head so that Jaejoong’s hair tickled at his nose.

“You’re welcome.” He replied contentedly, glad that Jaejoong had accepted the gift with minimal fuss.

They stayed that way, at ease, for a few minutes, before Yunho spoke again.

“Seulgi’s coming this afternoon.” Yunho sighed out, sounding tired and resigned. “I’m meant to have dinner with her.” He grimaced. Jae raised a hand to cup his cheek, caressing the soft plane with his thumb.

“If you don’t want to go so much, just cancel. She’s not going to improve your headache, that’s for sure.” Jaejoong suggested snidely. Yunho let out a little snort.

“Yeah, right. And then I’ll have my father breathing down my neck again about my ‘responsibility as a Jung’.” He said, the last part done in a mockingly deep voice, imitating his father’s grave tones. Jae quirked his lip a little, knowing exactly what the older Jung was like. He offered no answer for Yunho’s observation either, just pressing chaste a kiss against Yunho’s lips in silent support.

Both of them jumped when their quiet conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. After their initial surprise, both sighed, realizing that there was work to be done. Jae reluctantly hopped off Yunho’s lap, smoothing down his jacket and shaking out his pant leg, before reaching over the desk and picking up the phone.

“Good morning, Jung Yunho’s office, Jaejoong speaking. Could you please hold the line for just one moment? Ah, thank you very much. I’ll be right with you.” He said smoothly into the receiver, before pressing two buttons to hold and reroute the call to his desk, then hanging up the phone.

Yunho was still sitting back in his chair, just watching Jaejoong, and Jae gave him a sweet smile, leaning over to give him one last kiss and a heated ‘thank you’ into his ear before he hurried off to pick up the call. As the door clicked shut, Yunho sighed, rubbing his temples at the returning headache, and began to read through the faxes that had come to him earlier this morning.

A few hours later…

The elevator across the floor dinged, causing Jaejoong to look up and peer over his desk to see who had arrived. Upon seeing the smooth, long black hair, the low plunging pink floral top and the wishy washy floaty skirt that approached, Jae groaned.

“Oh gawd, here comes the antichrist.” He muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Seulgi queried, eyes sharp on him as she approached the desk. He quickly brought a smile to his face.

“Oh! I just said ‘oh wow, don’t you look nice.’” He supplied winningly, eyes large and sparkling. Seulgi eyed him suspiciously. She’d always thought there was something really… weird about the guy. She’d complained to Yunho that his secretary was creepy, but he just laughed and told her she was imagining things. But he was creepy! He smiled at her strangely, making her skin crawl. And then there was the way he looked at her with those glasses of his, like she was some strange fungus he was studying. She wouldn’t be surprised if the guy grew fungus in his basement as a hobby or something. He was just weird. He also dressed way above a secretary. She knew that jacket he had on was top line YSL. What kind of secretary wore YSL? A male secretary at that. With a really tiny waist. She frowned at it.

“Something wrong Miss?” He asked her politely, even though she as staring at his middle section like a praying harpy and oh why couldn’t he stab her with something? He made sure to tilt his hand so that the watch caught the light, shining into the woman’s face. She squinted her eyes momentarily against the glare.

“Nothing.” She said shortly, looking away. YSL jacket, damn Cartier watch… she wondered how much Yunho was paying this tramp. “Is Yunho in?”

“…yes. He’s just on the phone at the moment though.” Jaejoong said huffily, sitting back down at his desk. “If you wait a few minutes, I’m sure he’ll be done soon.”

Seulgi sighed, resigned, and took a seat on one of the small very chic couches that were in the entrance area. She smoothed down her skirt and tried to fix her eyes on something that wasn’t the weird secretary. She hated waiting around in the office for Yunho – but it seemed to happen every single time. And she hardly got to see Yunho as it was!

She pouted petulantly at a pot plant for some minutes, when finally stupid secretary got up and nodded at her. He was so haughty! As if he was above her. Him, a mere secretary. Hmph. She stood up and followed him to the wooden doors, and he knocked once before opening one.

“Yunho, Miss Bae is here for you.” He announced her. Yunho murmured something she couldn’t hear, and then the door was pushed open further.

Jaejoong walked into the large office, letting Seulgi trail in behind him if she wanted to. Yunho pushed some papers back into the manila folder on his desk and closed it, looking at both of them as they entered.

“Hello Seulgi.” He greeted her with a smile. She opened her mouth to respond, but he didn’t stop, instead turning to Jaejoong. “Jae, here’s those files on Cableton. See that Kangin gets them when he comes out of his meeting. Also, call Daishin and get on their ass about the statements – we need them in now.”

Jaejoong pushed his glasses up a little as he went to Yunho’s side, taking the manila folder from his boss and also a quick petting of his ass, easily hidden from Seulgi by the desk and the angle. Jae smiled slightly at Yunho and rested the file on his hip.

“I already called Daishin, just after lunch. They say they’ll get them to you by tomorrow. I pressed a bit more, and they’ll be in by 10 am.” Jaejoong told him, earning a bright smile.

“Ah, excellent. What would I do without you!” He praised, and Jaejoong just raised an amused eyebrow.

“You would die a horrible death under an avalanche of paperwork.” He responded dryly, hitting Yunho lightly on the arm with the folder. “Anything else?” He then asked, ignoring Yunho’s playful pout.

“Yeah. When Donghae gets up here, please send him through right away. I’d like to get his progress report as soon as possible. After, I’d like you to take a few letters for me.” Yunho instructed, shuffling through a few more pieces of paper. Jaejoong nodded, beginning to move towards the door, making sure there was a slight sway in his walk.

“Sure. I’ll buzz when Donghae is ready.” He said casually, and Yunho nodded, smiling at him once more before Jaejoong opened the door and slipped out without so much as another glance at Seulgi.

A satisfied smile crept over his face as he heard part of last sentence before the door closed.

“…just can’t tonight, I’m so swamped…” Yunho’s regretful sounding explanation faded out as the wood blocked out sound. But it was enough, Jae thought smugly as he sat down at his desk again, dialing down to Kangin’s secretary to find out when it looked like the meeting would end, and to get her to pick up the files. He knew that in a few minutes, Seulgi would come huffing out of the office, a massive pout on her face as she stomped her little high heels all the way to the elevator. And if Seulgi was pouting like that, then Jaejoong also knew he and Yunho would be ‘working late’ that night, and he’d have another opportunity to get to know that magnificent desk.
Tags: bitchy!jae, plot? what's that?, yunjae/jaeho
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