I was going to go out with workmates tonight but... I'm not sure what happened. I think it got scrapped because 3 of the ones that were going were out sick today from work anyway. :(
AND WHY IS THERE NO FIC?!?! This is my time of need, and there is no fic. D: *pokes detox*
Title: The Morning That Always Comes
Words: 1 426
Pairings: None really... Jae & Ho friendship?
Summary: Jaejoong doesn't know what to say, so he watches instead.
Jaejoong watches from the bedroom window, watches all the people walk by on the streets below, the cars and the bikes and the movement of those who have somewhere to go. He watches until he sees the familiar head come down the sidewalk below, and then goes to make dinner.
Two plates sit on a wooden, round table, filled with rice and sliced pieces of chicken, heavy with spices. Jaejoong pours tea and Yunho puts the chopsticks out, smiling at Jae over the table.
“How was class?” Jae asks, as they sit down.
“Oh, same old, same old. Batty old Baek talked us round in circles, as always… that man really needs to actually listen to what he’s saying!” Yunho replies, and they speak about everything and nothing. They play video games, and then do their assignments, falling into bed past midnight.
Morning follows the same way it always does, and Jaejoong sets down a breakfast that they eat in comfortable near-silence before going to class together. They sit together on the bus, and Jaejoong doesn’t feel alone.
They part at the gates, Jaejoong stepping away, only to look back until Yunho is gone from his sight before going to his own lecture. He enters quietly, head down, and sits at the back of the room. Nobody sits beside him, and he takes notes diligently, the words going in his ear and out his pen with little evidence left of them between.
He ducks his head again as he hands in his assignment to the lecturer and passes unnoticed through the noisy crowds of students, disappearing into the mass of people. He eats lunch at a table, in the cafeteria, staring at his cultural history book with no recognition of what the words are as he nibbles through half a sandwich. It’s bland, and he stops tasting it after the first few bites.
Another class, and he nods when his group members delegate him a part to research, quietly taking down the date and time of their next meeting. He’s told to email his work to Jun, but he doesn’t remember which one she is.
He stops at the grocery store on the way home, buying vegetables and vinegar and bobbing his head to the girl at the register as he takes the white crinkly plastic bag in hand. It cuts into his fingers as he walks, and at home he’s left with a red mark on his hand as he fills the fridge. He sits on the couch, feet curled under himself, and reads a book. He smiles at the characters, and all that they do.
Yunho comes home, beaming at the mark he got in his international law exam, and Jaejoong beams back.
“There’s a party… Donghae’s got the house to himself, and I said we’d come.” Yunho tells him as they make dinner together.
“Okay.” Jaejoong says, after a beat and half of pause.
They go. Donghae’s house is nice. Big. Jaejoong remembers home and all that he left behind, and then watches Yunho enveloped into the hearty embrace of his friends, congratulating him on his place as top in the course. Jaejoong smiles, but fades back, just watching. They’re Yunho’s friends, not his. He takes a drink, carefully sipping at the alcohol laden beverage as he finds a corner. He watches everyone, fading into the wallpaper quietly. People, just people, come talk to him, but the words don’t come and he doesn’t know what to say to them. Awkward silence pushes them away, and Jaejoong finds himself alone again. He wonders why, wonders why he can’t talk to people, why he has nothing to say. He watches Yunho interact, watches him be loved, watches him make other people’s faces light up with laughter and wonders how it happens. Wonders how Yunho can make him light up with laughter when he can’t even do it himself.
He doesn’t even finish his drink before Yunho finds him again, the taller boy slightly tipsy and red in the face.
“Come on, lets go home.” He tells Jaejoong, already making to leave.
“It’s okay. Stay. Have fun. I’m fine.” Jaejoong says. It’s not even midnight.
“You look bored. We’ll go.” Yunho insists. Jaejoong wants to say that he always looks bored. He’s not really bored though so much as out of place and lost. He’s said about two dozen words since he’s arrived, and has nothing else he knows how to say to all these people that he doesn’t know.
“Really, stay. Your friends want you to stay.” Jaejoong can see Donghae and the others, laughing together with beers in hand. Every couple of seconds, one of them will look over at Yunho though, and Jaejoong knows they don’t know why he’s leaving.
“Are you sure?” Yunho asks, open face showing how willing he is to do whatever Jaejoong wants. Jaejoong nods, trying to match his sincerity. Yunho smiles at him, and Jaejoong smiles back, feeling his face almost crack.
“Okay. But let me know if you want to go, okay! We can leave any time.” Yunho’s so sweet and understanding and Jaejoong knows this is why Yunho has so many friends.
He watches Yunho for half an hour more, before being jostled one too many times, getting startled looks from people that hadn’t even realized he was there. Ducking his head, he weaves his way through a markedly more drunk mass of people, trying not to bump into them as they dance and laugh around him. He goes out front, finds the porch littered with people too, and walks down to the front fence. Following it around, he finds the corner of the garden where nobody is and sits in the grass. It’s a little bit cold, but he draws his knees up, and it’s not so bad. He watches the stars, rocking slightly with the music coming from the house.
He’s not sure how long he’s there, but Yunho comes to him, the music is toned down and there aren’t as many voices around.
“Oh Jaejoong…” Yunho breaths out, his heart aching as he see's his friend balled up so small on the ground, finally having spotted him in the gloom for his white shirt.
“Hmm?” Jaejoong only half hears him, still looking up at the sky and dreaming of nothing, his head resting on the fence. He looks up at Yunho, met with the broken expression on his friend’s face. He frowns to see it. “What’s wrong?” He asks.
Yunho’s jacket settles around him, his friend’s warmth and scent engulfing him. He tugs it closer, feeling grateful as he releases his numb legs and wobbles to his feet, Yunho helping him up.
“Jaejoong…” He begins, but falters. Jaejoong blinks at him, questioning.
“Did you not have a good time?” He asks, concerned. After all, wasn’t that the point?
“No, I did.” Yunho says hastily, beginning to guide Jaejoong towards the gate. “I did, but how long have you been out here?” He asks, rubbing at Jaejoong’s arms. Jaejoong tilts his head a bit, thinking.
“I don’t know.” He confesses. “But the stars are pretty tonight.” He wants to look up again, but the movement of his eyes stop at Yunho’s face, seeing instead the stars in his friend’s dark eyes.
Yunho just looks at him, and there’s something in that gaze that Jaejoong does not understand at all. He sees it there sometimes, lurking behind those dark eyes, when Yunho looks at him. He doesn’t ever have that look when they’re at home though, so Jaejoong likes it better when they’re at home. There aren’t other people there either. It’s just home. With Yunho.
As soon as they get in the door, Jaejoong feels warmer. He smiles at Yunho, who’s tentative but sincere in his returned smile.
“Goodnight.” Jaejoong says. “And congratulations on your results. But then, I always told you that you’d be fantastic.”
“You always have.” Yunho agrees.
“And I always will.” Jaejoong rejoins. Of course he will, because Yunho has always been and always will be fantastic. Jaejoong doesn’t know what he himself is, but he knows that Yunho is fantastic.
“Goodnight Jaejoongie.” Yunho says as Jae enters his room, and Jae gives him a little wave and a grin before closing his door.
He doesn’t know that behind him Yunho sits down on the couch, puts his head his hands and breathes very carefully so as not to cry. Because Yunho never wants to shed tears for Jaejoong, never tears. Only smiles.
Tomorrow, Jaejoong will get up to the morning that always comes and put breakfast on the table and say ‘Good morning Yunho!’. And Yunho will smile.